Fast Forward Button...Please?

Solo post. I think you'll be seeing a lot of more of these from us...we're in 2 different places w/ the weight loss journey. Oh, and we have opposite schedules (well, we will soon! D is switching to overnights).

I am in a fucking rut, and I want to scream! I've been at the same weight for THREE FUCKING WEEKS!!!!!!!!!!! Ahhhh! OK, calm...calm...enhance my calm. I know this kind of thing happens, I'm just so frustrated.

Period of doom over? Check (apologies to the 3-4 men who read this)

Cut calories? Check

More exercise? Check

DIFFERENT exercise? Check

Weight loss? 0

ZERO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I've complained to Brian...he said it happens, and not to let it dissuade me from the overall goal. Easier said than done. I am tied to that scale, emotionally connected. A zero...or worse, a GAIN send me into inner turmoil. I don't know WHY I'm like this...but I am.

I know that I've lost inches, I've gained muscle...but all I want it for the effing scale to reflect my hard work. I was watching 'Biggest Loser' earlier this week and Jillian said "If the scale isn't moving - you're doing something wrong.". Ack. I felt like she knew I was sitting here giving myself excuses "More muscle! Less inches! Pants fit!"...*sigh*.

I want a fast forward button for my life. FF to 6 months from now...do I look hot? Am I rocking jeans I bought at a normal store? I sure as hell hope so. Gah!

In other news, my life is forcing me to become a morning person. I have 3 weekly con-calls, all of which start at 8am or 8:30am now. This means I need to exercise, shower, change, make lunch, do hair/makeup, get coffee and be to work 1 hr early. It seemed impossible, but it's going OK so far.

I'm hoping this new schedule will work to my benefit.

Maybe my body needs more sleep? Maybe I'm grasping at straws.

A while ago I tried a low-carb program called Kimkins. It turned out to be a total scam, I was eating 500-700 calories a day. I would drop 3 pounds day. Literally. This was the most amazing feeling. However, it's just not practical, or healthy. Luckily I wasn't on this insane diet for long (2 months?) so I didn't have any side effects. Some women I had met on the forums lost their hair...horrible. Now I keep thinking "I'm doing this the healthy way! I'll appreciate it when I can pass healthy eating habits onto my kids!".

Somehow, as much positivity as I am *trying* to bring to this just isn't working. I want results. I want them now. I don't like waiting.

3 things I hate about myself:

1. Impatience. No matter how hard I try to not be...I want things instantly.

2. My constant need to compare myself to every single person I know, or don't know.

3. My ability to beat myself up worse than anyone in the world could. I am my own worst enemy.

I really try not to blog about negatitivty...but tonight I couldn't help it. Tomorrow will be better.

XO

*S

The Unicorn Mafia (or Boxing is Fun)

Solo postage tonight. Just D.
In regards to the title of tonight's blog....don't ask - just know that they are out there.


I've started a new thing with Brian. Instead of just straight cardio we hit the heavy bag. For those of you who might not know - a heavy bag weighs 150 pounds. They come in different sizes but that's what I'm working with now.

It's a lot harder than I imagine and at first I thought "Sweet I get to beat the living bejesus out of this thing and I'll lose weight". Not so my friends. Not so. Hitting something that large for 3 minute intervals is exhausting. On the one hand I am releasing a ton of frustration. On the other hand it wears me out faster than riding the bike or walking the treadmill do. A lot faster.

Right now I hit it in 3 min intervals, then do a set of 25 crunches...lather rinse repeat. This little cycle of joy goes on for at least an hour. At the end of said hour, I am soaking wet and ready to die. But, fuck it these are the measures I need to take to not be fat.

After the heavy bag workout of joy I then proceed to the speed bag. The speed bag is sorta like the 9th ring of hell...in bag form. Basically you get into a rhythm (like a drum) hitting a little bag that hangs from the ceiling. This might sound easy...but trust me, it's not. If you hit it out of time or lose your rhythm you're fucked. And by fucked I mean Brian cracks a whip and you do crunches. If you drop your hand, he slaps you in the face. This is to teach you to protect your face with your unused hand at all times. I don't mean to make it sound like my hand falls below my jaw and Brian jabs me...it's more like a love tap. Sometimes he says "If we were boxing...you wouldn't have a face left."

In addition to all this fun, we've been working on jabs/hooks/upper cuts. The hook is all about the hips. Brian said "With your hips, you throw a left hook and you're going to fucking kill somebody". Sam wants to see this in action. My favorite move is the upper cut. When asked to demonstrate Brian said: The upper cut is the ballsiest of all boxing moves. It says 'I think you're a shitty boxer and I don't respect you'.

We've also reviewed the pressure points on a body to knock someone out. Pretty sure he left those in the wrong hands...(Unicorn Mafia strikes again).

I'm also on a new diet. It's more strict, and I've got to drink both a pre-workout drink (Fast Twitch) and a post-workout drink (ISOPure Protein Shit Ass Powder). Neither are very tasty...but they make the workout easier and more productive.

By the way- The asshole at the workout store grabbed me FastTwitch (muscle enhancement) in Sour Berry Blast. I'd like to go back to Flex Appeal and drill him in the face. It tastes like Sour Berry Bullshit. Sam smelled the cup and said "Did you vomit?". Sadly, I had not. I find the best way to approach the drink from hell is to mix it with Sour Grape Gatorade and CHUG it.

Other than that, new job...looking forward to a good 2009.

Stay up guys,
D

PS: The Unicorn Mafia is out there...they're watching...and they don't want to hear your bullshit.