Solo postage tonight. Just D.
In regards to the title of tonight's blog....don't ask - just know that they are out there.
I've started a new thing with Brian. Instead of just straight cardio we hit the heavy bag. For those of you who might not know - a heavy bag weighs 150 pounds. They come in different sizes but that's what I'm working with now.
It's a lot harder than I imagine and at first I thought "Sweet I get to beat the living bejesus out of this thing and I'll lose weight". Not so my friends. Not so. Hitting something that large for 3 minute intervals is exhausting. On the one hand I am releasing a ton of frustration. On the other hand it wears me out faster than riding the bike or walking the treadmill do. A lot faster.
Right now I hit it in 3 min intervals, then do a set of 25 crunches...lather rinse repeat. This little cycle of joy goes on for at least an hour. At the end of said hour, I am soaking wet and ready to die. But, fuck it these are the measures I need to take to not be fat.
After the heavy bag workout of joy I then proceed to the speed bag. The speed bag is sorta like the 9th ring of hell...in bag form. Basically you get into a rhythm (like a drum) hitting a little bag that hangs from the ceiling. This might sound easy...but trust me, it's not. If you hit it out of time or lose your rhythm you're fucked. And by fucked I mean Brian cracks a whip and you do crunches. If you drop your hand, he slaps you in the face. This is to teach you to protect your face with your unused hand at all times. I don't mean to make it sound like my hand falls below my jaw and Brian jabs me...it's more like a love tap. Sometimes he says "If we were boxing...you wouldn't have a face left."
In addition to all this fun, we've been working on jabs/hooks/upper cuts. The hook is all about the hips. Brian said "With your hips, you throw a left hook and you're going to fucking kill somebody". Sam wants to see this in action. My favorite move is the upper cut. When asked to demonstrate Brian said: The upper cut is the ballsiest of all boxing moves. It says 'I think you're a shitty boxer and I don't respect you'.
We've also reviewed the pressure points on a body to knock someone out. Pretty sure he left those in the wrong hands...(Unicorn Mafia strikes again).
I'm also on a new diet. It's more strict, and I've got to drink both a pre-workout drink (Fast Twitch) and a post-workout drink (ISOPure Protein Shit Ass Powder). Neither are very tasty...but they make the workout easier and more productive.
By the way- The asshole at the workout store grabbed me FastTwitch (muscle enhancement) in Sour Berry Blast. I'd like to go back to Flex Appeal and drill him in the face. It tastes like Sour Berry Bullshit. Sam smelled the cup and said "Did you vomit?". Sadly, I had not. I find the best way to approach the drink from hell is to mix it with Sour Grape Gatorade and CHUG it.
Other than that, new job...looking forward to a good 2009.
Stay up guys,
D
PS: The Unicorn Mafia is out there...they're watching...and they don't want to hear your bullshit.
3 comments:
Wow - I used to do boxing too. I loved speed bag and heavy bag and all that.
I stopped because all the jumproping was killing my knees - I decided to save whatever knee function I had left for dance.
I did the boxing thing and nearly broke my toe because I kicked the bag wrong. Damn you boxing!
OT: Can somebody give an update? Will Manny Pacquiao really quit after his fight between Tim Bradley? Check out this news here regarding Manny Pacquiao's last fight. There is still a chance that he won't be retiring afterall.
Post a Comment