27 is a lonely number

(solo post)

27.

In two days I will be 27. That's LATE TWENTIES! Aaaah!

It's looming over my head, like a dark cloud. Late twenties. No longer "mid" or "early"...late. Late implies something. It implies I have my shit together more than I do (or should). It implies I'm no longer a child, but a full fledged adult. There are no more excuses for fuck-ups.

Looking at my life compared to this time last year, I'm better off. In less debt. Smaller (with more muscle!). Happier. However, I am a habitual comparison shopper. And frankly, I don't measure up to my friends.

70% are happily married or in successful long term relationships
90% are debt free
95% own their own home, or rent a nice apartment

I can't help but thinking, for as far as I have come....I am so far behind the curve.

Sure, I like my job (more so lately), I have a college degree, I'm pretty well-respected in the industry...

But, I'm single. Single and still fat and living at home b/c of my mound of debt.

Now, that debt is smaller, and the fat is 62 pounds less....but that doesn't factor into my self-disappointment. I'm not where I want to be at this point in my life.

I often wonder if others set "goals" in regards to their age. By 22 I will do X....by 27 I will do Z. Am I the only one who puts so much emphasis on age?! Maybe...

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I wrote this, then I reread it and I thought "I want to post it...but I want to force myself to focus on the positive too". So, in that spirit, here is 27 things I love about myself. While I like making lists, this one was painful to come up with!

1. My giggle. I have a seriously cute giggle, and I love to laugh.
2. My ability to remember random details about every customer I talk to.
3. My hips. They're perfect for bellydancing!
4. My relationship w/ my mom...she means the world to me, and I love that we're so close
5. My childlike excitement when I discover I can color code, sparkle or personalize something
6. My no-bullshit attitude. Don't sass me, I'll sass you back!
7. My eyes. They're hazel/green/brown and really pretty in the light.
8. My height. 5'4" is perfect. Pants are always long enough, and high shelves are almost always w/in reach
9. My constant focus on the positive (esp. at work)
10. My integrity - I have a set of beliefs I will not compromise. Ever.
11. My sense of humor - it's quirky, I'm sarcastic...but I like it.
12. My obnoxious, yet wholly *Samantha* way of using emoticons and exclamation points in emails/IM. I really do talk this way!
13. My inability to have successful IM conversations...I always ended up calling the person. I am an IN-person person
14. My inquisitive nature. I love polling people, hearing people lives stories etc.
15. My generosity. I always go out of my way for people I love.
16. The sparkles. I love that *'s and sparkles have become my "thing"
17. My blonde moments. For as smart as I am...I can say the DUMBEST things sometimes!
18. My multi-tasking. No one multi-tasks like I do!
19. The fact that I can tell you 5 things I love about each of my friends, on demand.
20. I am loyal almost to a fault sometimes. I never want to believe the people I love have flaws
21. Shiny hair. I've dyed my hair every color known to man, and it still somehow looks shiny and fabulous most days.
22. My memory for small details. I remember every part of a story I hear.
23. My girlyness!
24. My coffee addiction, and my unwillingness to give it up...haha!
25. My ability to bullshit when necessary. Resumes...cover letters...I can spice em up better than anyone I know!
26. My hands. They're smallish - but they look great w/ my long nails.
27. My melting pot heritage. I'm Italian...Irish...Scottish...whatever! :)

Love,
*S